Day One: Frustration

Good Morning should be how I start the day but whats so good about this morning? I have taken on the responsibility of defending the men who find themselves in the process of a divorce for circumstances out of their control. These men are victims of the system created to protect the women. Good and bad women all the same.
I first was privileged to enter into this world, and I say that word privileged lightly , when a close friend went through and is still going through a 10year court battle. This man has endured horrors at the hands of his ex wife and the justice system. False accusations of child molestation, spousal abuse, late for support payments thousands and thousands of dollars on attorneys fees. The only saving grace is that he is a self employed man with a business that has so far stayed afloat during this bad economic time. His wife is a millionaire but also has a few, if not all, her screws loose. So my friend is able to fund his legal battle. Emotionally he will never be the same. His children will struggle with this their whole life simply due to the mothers horrible lies and manipulative behaviors. Now the process has hit home. Hit my personal family. A brother is in need of help and there is nothing we can do to help. He is at the mercy of the court.
My brothers story:
Twenty years ago my brother married his childhood sweetheart. She was from a family we grew up with. My Dad looked at her father as his best friend. They had dreams. He was going to be a NYC fireman, build a family, live on L.I. near their families, life was grand. They started to live their dreams, had 3 kids, bought a house, had their problems but he was devoted to her. She in his words " is the most beautiful woman I know" They did some crazy things when they were younger, things they aren't so proud to admit now but they were young and embarked on them together who's to say whats right for someone else. Fast forward to 2004. He's away at a convention for the fire dept. and the call comes in like this. Hi guess what I am pregnant. Your what! Yes I am pregnant. He says how did that happen I had a vasectomy? Well it must have not worked cause I am pregnant . Ohhh well I will be home tomorrow and we will go to the Dr.
By now you all know the outcome. Yes the baby was not my brothers it was her lovers. She loved this man who is a dirt bag. He was someone she dated also in high school, don't know where he came from. Recently released from jail and she reconnected with him. She would bring her kids to play with his kids while the two of them did their business the kids could play together. I would have walked out the door, left and never looked back. That's what I like to believe I would have done. His vasectomy did not go bad she was a cheater!!! He took her to the Dr.s, held her hand , stayed with her. Yup that's right he stayed with her. He let her go say good bye to her lover. He tolerated numerous calls for months back and forth to her lover. Why I asked many times why ! Because I love her, because she is the love of my life, my children's mother what am I gonna do with out her. My brother stayed for 4 years trying to work it out. Marriage counseling,hah, during counseling she received calls from her lover. Still he stayed still he loved her. The promises to leave the lover always seemed heartfelt and he wanted to believe.
Two years ago he left the house because the kids were being traumatized by the fighting and lies. This is where it gets nasty.
He a NYC Fireman and she a medical receptionist. He is, according to the court to pay all the bills while this action is before the court. Leaving out all the gory details when all is said and done he has $50.00 a week to live on. She has now filed a contempt of court order against him. Her claims are false. This however does not matter. She can spend thousands of dollars and file false motions and allegations and as if that isn't enough expect my brother to pay for it. Justice system you've got to be kidding me as far as I can tell for the responsible men out there trying to do whats right for their families there is none. If you pay the bills, pay your child support and maintenance, get for the children what they need, take care of the house and buy groceries when the kids complain they have no food, listen to other people tell you that your children asked them to " please tell mommy not to go tanning tonight and buy us dinner" do all this and the court says ok if you can do this then you can also give her attorney $5000.000 to start and by the way the lease is up in Oct. so buy her a new car!!!! Her atty tells the court that he cant be low on money he goes to the outback for dinner. He stayed at a motel, he plays golf. Does divorce mean that your life has ended that you can't go to dinner, can't play in tournaments designed for firemen. They have so much as stated in their paper work that he took a vacation in December, a vacation that was his to take. He didn't go anywhere, he helped me take care of my mom, painted her house. They have him listed as working 2 1/2 jobs and a volunteer firefighter for his town and they have the nerve to say he needs to work more. Are you kidding me.
His attorney tells him in the end it will be fine. The court cannot take what you don't have. They cannot force you too work more than one job. He is a full time NYC Fireman, teaches class at the fire academy. He lives with my mother, he can't afford to live anywhere else. Last night she told him she would make it that he would never see his kids again. She also stated that she was now gonna cut his nuts off and hand them to him. Hello, Hello are you there Cruella, you've already emasculated him you did that 6 years ago.
I am asking for your stories, your solutions and how you have made it thru this awful process. I am trying to keep my brother hopefull but it is getting hard. Her attorney keeps throwing stuff at him and his attorney tells him to sit back and don't worry. Is it possible that this can work out. Is it true that the court can not force you to work more than one job. He gets all his pay on the books . They are saying he has money when in reality he has none and is going deeper and deeper into debt. All suggestions and help will be greatly appreciated. Contempt March 11th, trial supposed to start April 15th, we all know that ain't gonna happen.Love you Brother xo